Pictures-stories-quotes
Humorous Court Notes

Main Menu

 These make a very strong case for defending yourself in court!



 Products you can work at home with include a catalog full of over
600 items.

ar
ar

 IAHBE "MoneyPak" WORK AT HOME KIT
by the International Association
of Home Business Entrepreneurs


 VERIUNI™ ISP UNLIMITED DIAL-UP INTERNET SERVICE


 GreatDomainia.com Register your own domain name


 VERIUNI™
LONG DISTANCE


4.25¢ Plus


 
Site resources
Your privacy is very important to us.
Please view our terms of use statement.
work at home <- -> court notes

Humorous Court Notes

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts. They are things people actually said in court, word for word, transcribed by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
 
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

 

work at home


 

More

- Somebody said: The world needs mean moms! I've learned... a few words of wisdom and a wonderful message by George Carlin, the list to live by if you only have 5 days left.
- Pictures, stories, quotes, jokes for work at home moms, the angel girl, male bashing, the dying Irish nun, Vincent Van Gogh's relatives.
- Bonjour! An American, a Japanese, an Irishman, a blonde in Mexico and a limo Driver. Think of all the people... Indian mating season.
- Watch out! Info on latest identity theft and be aware of the new car-jacking scheme. Things to do in an emergency situation.
- What happens when you... choose a dessert - exercise your brain.
- A Keeper and a computer user over 50. 15 things that it took me over 50 years to learn. 15 kids named Leroy and the Janitor.
- The law is the law - said in court, word for word. Mouth Almighty.
- A Scotch with two drops of water - who says sex can't be funny??
- Before I go to bed tonight - prayer for a woman: Dust if you must, get sick and tired. Housekeeping Philosophy. Quotes by Great Ladies.
- Getting even. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Why these people were alive, it's safer there than at Michael's - dangerous Glade Plug-Ins.
- Some wonderful answering machine messages and voice mail in heaven.
- Meow! Catholic parrots eating popcorn and dog truths.
- Taken from classified ads in newspapers - Job placement.
- Quick eye exam. Recalled drugs containing phenylpropanolamine.
- Service? You'd see this only in...
- An Irish friendship wish: CASH ONLY PLEASE!
- The truest definition of Globalization - living in 2004. How did we ever survive? Words to live by - put down the burdens periodically.
- Wal-Mart has everything!

- If this doesn't make your day nothing will!

Only for SFIers!

Add your Jewels to our Powerline's Niche

Articles, F.A.Q.

Learn -
Work at home
- Earn


 
The above are forwards taken from the Internet. If one or more of these stories or pictures were created by you (visitor) I'd be glad to add your name, website etc or remove it if you want.